I washed a lot of windows this weekend seeking clarity. It mostly just made my back hurt worse but I was hoping to Mr. Miyagi myself into some kind of understanding. Some explanation for the last how many years. Interconnections I would have never anticipated, absolutely impossible things. The revelations have just been so staggering that I’m not quite sure what to do with it. I think I’m finally starting to understand the term shellshock because every day it’s like a bomb has gone off. I’ve tried writing fiction for two days but it’s just not happening. My new understanding of portions of my “fictional” works surely isn’t helping with that. I’ve been asking myself a question recently and it is a hellish one. If you were right about everything else, you are probably right about the horrible thing, so then how will you know when it’s over? There are no indicator lights I’ve been able to locate to tell me when everything is safe again. Just silence and a horrible uneasy feeling. So I’m going to take Stephanie’s advice and go make some tree friends when the weather warms up and just try to do something that doesn’t involve thinking about all of this. Maybe read a few good books. Back soon my friends….and I hope to be writing more fiction.