Someone asked me the other day if I’ve made any progress on what I’ve been working on because sometimes it’s not so obvious. If you would have asked me a few weeks ago my answer still would have been yes. My life has been radically transformed in so many ways and I’ve learned so much. And now….I’m not sure there are words that can describe the explosive revelations of the last few weeks. I will never be able to tell you the truth of all of it here. The communication lines opened up after the horrible Mercury Retrograde and the information I learned was absolutely staggering and life changing in scope. I was right about all of it. In amazing and spectacular ways and that totally scares the fuck out of me because I don’t want to be right about the rest of it. There is a post in the Ship’s Log that made me cry so hard this week and that wasn’t the only one. I didn’t understand it when I wrote it but I do now in a horrible new way.
Can I see the future and change it? Or am I caught in some horrible self-fulling prophecy that destroys everything…..everything? Maybe we are just in the matrix, and through my writing I’ve learned to code. I was perfectly alright with just being crazy. Funky cosmic reception due to sunspots could be easily blamed. When the feedback loop slammed shut last week it was and is an almost impossible thing to describe. A raw unblinking connection which revealed the truly horrific nature of the thing I saw in my mind which was already much further along than I had imagined. The world we live in is a really fucked up place to be. Good people get way more than their fair share of awful. Worse yet there are dark shapes in the corner that feed on that kind of awful. I would have never imagined the disturbing magnetic power of a person’s inner desires for destruction. It was absolutely shocking to see how far back in my life held key information involving the sequence of events. I hope that I can fix it because I’m not sure that I can watch it again.
I never really considered how dangerous it could be to ask the universe to send you to the place you are most needed. For example, during the beginning of my car trip that I wrote about in my post involving Mercury Retrograde, I had what I thought was a stone impact from the car in front of us. What’s new. It’s Michigan and this is not the first time I’ve called the glass repair guy. There was a very loud snap heard inside the car. They sent me the wisened old glass whisperer and he was absolutely dumbstruck by what he found. The window was broken on the inside from what he thought was an impact. Think about that for a minute. He scratched his head for a long time and just kept looking at me like I was hiding something. If the dream forecasting is correct there will be a light-blue jeep with window problems next. I think we’ve all seen this before. A license plate will be my next experiment.
Talking to him really wasn’t all that much fun because all week I was beyond dizzy. I felt like I was back playing the anemia vertigo game. Both of us in the car were sick all week and are still not great. I must have slept for three days and the visions were so intense and emotionally charged. It was almost impossible at times. I almost fell down a bunch of times, lost four pounds, rapid heartbeat, and just discovered that I may also be experiencing the delicate joys of a passing stone, even my teeth hurt. The whole time emotions not entirely my own were rushing through me uncontrollably. My life has been forever changed in ways I would have never imagined. Turns out I was wrong about one thing though. She was in the car and thank God she is still here with us.
I’m really worried about what this all means. Why a very similar scary situation with terrible consequences is playing out for Whitley. Why all the messages I wrote down from the members-only Hell-ier live streams make so much sense to me. Protect your bodies, protect your dreams, and a bunch more of them I’ve been keeping to myself. Something is happening. I’m trying as hard as I can to stop this and that is really difficult because traumatized people have to work at their own pace. The other day I was able to get a few words in edgewise but it’s hard to help someone when they aren’t sure they want you to stop it. What happened next was absolutely astonishing. Feeling helpless I went to bed humming this song because what else could I do?
Shortly after I laid down my friend texted me and I had forgotten to turn down my ringer because I use my phone for Hemi-Sync. He sent me a picture of 6 or 7 faerie circles that he just noticed outside his hotel room. Given some of the things that have been going I got up immediately to talk to him. I was looking out the alley window when I saw something moving in the sky that was weird enough that I immediately went outside. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out how to record video, weirdly even the next day I couldn’t find the button which was clearly marked, it’s like it didn’t exist. The good news is I got a bunch of pictures. What is even more mind-boggling is they seem to directly reference the thing we were talking about.
I was feeling powerless to stop this thing, to perform my function, which now had an impossible new component. We get caught up in these big verbal jam sessions that always produce interesting results. Keeping an open question is powerful when dealing with the unknown. The whole thing has intensely apocalyptic vibes and we were talking about a dream someone had involving three comets which was disturbing given that I had read Explosions in the Sky: Supernovas and Star Sorcery at the absolutely fantastic Secret Sun Blog before I heard the dream. I’m not a photography expert and I have no idea what this is but its timing was disturbing on many levels. The first picture shows something I didn’t see with my eyes, I saw the white orb with a tail, just like last time. I just ran outside to watch it and fired off a whole bunch of pics. It was dead silent and 9:35 PM eastern. No marker lights.
The white ball (sky creature?) flew over slowly and seemed to slow down as I watched it. Then it continued flying east until it stopped and hung out in the same area of sky I wrote about in Adventures in Hypnagogic States, Psychic Visions, and Synchronicity #2. So I went across to the East window and saw another one of those dragonfly-like objects which I wrote about here. The picture didn’t come out so great given the distance and time of day. It just appeared in midair, I saw it happen, and then flew south before disappearing. Reminds me of those mysterious sky critters Trevor James Constable was talking about. But what the hell do I know really? Weird, wild, stuff. It’s got me thinking about those Pearly Dewdrops.
I had to move the item I was hiding again which happened quite suddenly. I knew when I woke up there was someplace to go and before it was over I went and picked it up. Whatever the hell is happening it seems like things around it start to malfunction despite salt and cast iron binding. Some more pieces are hopefully on the way because I’m getting strong messages about gather and destroy. I have complete pictures of it which I’m keeping to myself because looking at it may be dangerous. Before I knew it the furnace guy was looking at me in the same way the glass guy did earlier. I am utterly astonished by the terrifying power of someone magnetized to death because this thing is bad news. Careful what you wish for they say. My current estimation is that some things just aren’t from here, whatever that means, and I’m more than a little worried about what else may turn up because this is far from over.
Today I had the feeling I needed to go where this horrible event takes place again. Worst possible location, a stone throw from another horrific murder, right next to a recently renovated wall made of old doors. Think about that for a minute. I pulled into the parking lot, immediately saw something mentioned in a dream, and then got an impossible synchronous phone call that left me spinning. Now I understand the absolutely awful complexity of this thing. It’s a magical bomb of terrifying proportion. What they said about the space between spaces coming undone makes a lot more sense now. Some things are just too horrible to be allowed to happen.
A couple of additional fun facts. Earlier in the morning, before I saw the lights, I got a 0 kp index warning from the Disaster Prediction App by SuspiciousObservers. Christopher Knowles is going to love this and speaking of that have you seen his last post? Talk about one that speaks to me, yikes, even hit the ritual murder aspect. I wish I didn’t understand that King’s 2 2 passage he put up in the way that I do. There were also helicopters flying over the little stone bridge by the railroad crossing. Hope that wasn’t my fault but I won’t know until I get the communication lines open again which is extremely urgent now.
It’s really hard to remain calm and centered inside the eye of this storm. I will never be the same again but I’m alright with that as long as I can fix all this. If I can’t I’ll consider myself lucky to receive hospital care packages of fried chicken, orange creamsicle cakes, and red licorice pipes from my friends. I don’t know what’s happening. But it’s happening none the less. They forget to tell me that I’d be holding a grenade together with shaking hands. I will pray that there is still time to get through the brick wall in front of me because my forehead hurts…..really hurts and I am so tired. The things I’ve seen, there are no words. If the news stream gets choppy I’m probably just passed out somewhere. A symptom a shadowy voice said, you’re not fucking kidding. Wear your helmets out there because it’s starting to smell like hardball. Turn this one up, bonus points if you track down the lyrics.