I told the whole story to Cole while we were down in the brain scanner having pecan waffles. Dr. Sophia sent me down for another brain scan as soon I told her about it, and before I found the cake frosting on my collar. We still don’t have an explanation for what happened to the coffee cup. It was either hit by the same interdimensional cake that hit my shirt or I suddenly developed psychokinetic powers in my sleep. No signs that anyone else was in the room with me. Shadow the cat seems to be quite fond of the pecans that suddenly and quite unexplainably started turning up in the brain scanner mystery waffles. Maybe it’s some sort of commentary on just how nuts everything has gotten around here. The Great Cosmic Pinball Machine in the Sky is currently producing questions faster than we can answer them. We were also troubled by what Milkshake Lady meant by “what is coming” which sounded ominous. Nothing quite like a few apocalyptic flavor notes to go with a delicious breakfast.
We are headed towards a planet called Kremeth. Cole said it should be a good place to cash in Lord Kularcan’s enormous gift and we’ve got a delivery of sorts to make for Eeara. He said “we are going to see Salad Bowl Bob” but I don’t know what he meant by that. I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough because I’m tired of asking questions right now. Whatever is happening is far beyond my current level of comprehension or control. Just going to sit out by the stream for a little while and try to take down my thoughts. It’s been a while since I tried thinking at this Allnet Pad thing they gave me. Most of the time it’s just recording what happens to me and I don’t even have to think about it. Having a psychic diary does prevent excessive pencil consumption, so I suppose that’s a feature. It feels strange to look through the previous entries at what’s happened so far.
About time you think you’ve really got life figured out, or that you’ve totally screwed it up, something will come along that will completely turn everything upside down. There will be no preparing for it. No perceivable warning signs will be posted although later you will realize they were there the whole time but you couldn’t see them. There were signs all right, but I never would have imagined they pointed here. On a spaceship in the future filled with the impossible. Being dead still makes the most sense right now but that feels like air my lungs are breathing and I haven’t walked through any walls yet. If I were a ghost, finding someone to haunt right about now would be a good distraction from all the questions. The Milkshake Lady said I was “in between places” when I was visiting her, so surely that means I must be someplace right now.
Considering that I have no idea who I am now and that I also don’t remember who I used to be, could that mean I’m a ghost? Somebody fell asleep in the Office of Recently Deceased Orientation and I wound up a clueless clerical oversight in some cosmic corporate death machine. Souvenirs are available in the Afterlife Gift Shop, please proceed to the turnstiles when you are ready to depart for your new life in the Great Beyond, thank you for flying Afterlife Airways. Sickle wielding stewardesses delivering bags of nuts to the newly reborn dead while the world that we used to know sings Kumbaya. Wish I could remember who is supposed to be singing that song for me. All I get is a bunch of blank spaces when I try to find those people in my mind. Most of the index cards in the card catalog are blank.
This ship could have easily wound up feeling like the loneliest place in the world. But the strange familiarity of everyone here makes it feel like I’m still among friends somehow. Zap-Zap and Shadow are never far away which helps also. There is no denying there is strange magic at work here though. In the really quiet moments, I can almost hear the invisible clockwork mechanism that is propelling us along. What would be so important that seemingly omnipotent forces would need to move me to the future? Why would the Milkshake Lady go out of her way to contact me when she did? There must something incredibly powerful on its way towards us right now. The Hat Man might be trying to stop whatever it is I am supposed to do. Why would she show me his presence in my time? Is the location important somehow?
Something tells me that if I can just learn to be quiet it will all happen without any effort on my part. What’s the point in trying to figure it out anyway? There will just be more questions waiting. The smarter approach may be just to shut the fuck up and enjoy the ride. I must be dead somewhere, so no matter how you slice it, this is all free time. Even better, I can do whatever I want, all those things I never got to before. After our trip through Kremeth, I’ll be wealthy beyond my wildest dreams thanks to Lord Kularcan. He is another player I don’t quite understand in all of this. I’m going to assume he’s one of the good guys because there is a vast fortune waiting for me the next time we land. The crazy thing about that is it’s another thing that feels familiar like it’s happened before. Maybe I am dead and good karma is just catching up with me now.
Did I get erased from my timeline completely or am I still there watching TV and paying bills? Stopping in the middle of my day with a strange feeling I can’t quite put my finger on? Haunted by invisible retrocausal reverberations as I go through my day. Is the unexplained knocking on the front door late at night really just morse code from the future? The awakened sleeper dropping by to wake himself up? Now that I have a spaceship at my disposal could I travel back to abduct myself? Maybe I could pick up a nice rubber mask at the next space truck stop to avoid any paradoxes or timeline instabilities. For extra laughs, I could pick up a nice cake or some frozen waffles to give as a gift for added effect. Greeting from space and the future, enjoy these delicious baked goods, would you like to ride in our flying saucer?
Could I hide the whole thing from myself if I was in on the gag? Would the other me even understand what was happening? Would I understand that what tomorrow brings came today? I’d probably just wrap the confusion around me like a warm blanket and go back to sleep. I would tell everyone I knew the next day that I had the weirdest dream last night and they’d laugh while we all drank coffee and talked about Bill in accounting. For the next few days, people would ask me about that crazy waffle dream and I’d shift around uncomfortably not knowing why it bothered me so much. This would lead me to find a therapist who could hypnotize me to figure out why I wasn’t sleeping. Maybe that’s what happened. It’s not like I would remember now.