I have been asleep for 205 years. At least that’s what they told me. “You are on a spaceship,” they said. I’m not sure I believe them. The last thing I remember was laying in that hospital bed hoping a racquetball of cancer wasn’t going to murder me. It was 2017. Try explaining you’re not a great place to live to a malignant mass who’s far more interested in feeding on undigested cheeseburgers bits and stress. In our time together it was never really what I would call a “good listener”. What’s a little surgery among friends anyway?
After repeated rounds of anesthesia, things were starting to get weird. Every time you wake up it seems like something is off. Nothing is quite like you remember it. If you’re lucky while out playing close to the fuzzy edges of death The Other will notice you and start sending messages. That’s what happened to me. But I never expected anything as extreme as this.
I’m probably dead. That’s the easiest explanation. God is an astronaut after all. Wouldn’t that be something? Angel wings powered by rocket engines. Jesus and Satan getting in raygun fights. Buddha driving a kickass space cruiser called The Garuda. The entire abduction phenomenon turns out to be a grossly misunderstood enlightenment delivery service. It makes a strange sort of sense when you think about it.
The only thing I’m sure of is that it looks like what you’d expect a spaceship to look like on the inside. And this thing they gave me to play with is the craziest looking Ipad I’ve ever seen. It appears to be recording my thoughts like some sort of psychic dictation machine. I’m probably just crazy. The nurse will wake me for med time soon and then I can go back to sleep in a room with soft walls……..I hope.