“La…Lan….Lana? Lan..Lan Lana Dan…druff? Lana banana….Lana…” “What has Zap-Zap been putting in your coffee?” asked Cole who had swiveled around in his flying saucer seat to give me the hairy eyeball treatment. “What? I think I just phased out for a minute.” “You were saying something that sounded like a name. Lana Dandruff? Why does […]
04
Jan
Jan
Private Detective Lana Dandro was sitting in her shitty office in the middle of nowhere wondering if that squirrel was ever going to stop tapping on the roof. The brownie she ate earlier was coming on strong and she really wanted that squirrel to shut the fuck up. She had spent the whole night neck-deep […]
28
Dec
Dec
It’s funny how the world works if you really watch it. There always seems to be this gentle wind blowing in the right direction, if you can let go long enough to get to where you need to go. The longer you drift it seems like the weirder it gets. Strange has continued to be […]
21
Dec
Dec
If I did abduct myself, this is probably what it would look like. We are currently dropping into Kremeth in the landing saucer after leaving the Diagonal22 in orbit. Two monsters are sitting across from me while Cole is flying this bird. It almost feels for a moment like Walt and Steve are some kind […]
14
Dec
Dec
I told the whole story to Cole while we were down in the brain scanner having pecan waffles. Dr. Sophia sent me down for another brain scan as soon I told her about it, and before I found the cake frosting on my collar. We still don’t have an explanation for what happened to the […]
07
Dec
Dec
It’s so peaceful here underneath the waves. The water is warm and rays of light glimmer above me on the surface. Here in the silence, I can hear the songs of the things we know as angels, the endless churning of the outside world has been blotted out. There is no time, no pain, no […]
30
Nov
Nov
Sometimes I’m not sure if the things I see in my mind are for the sci-fi story or for things likes this. Part of me wants to hide everything like Easter eggs in fiction because it’s just easier that way. Plenty of the really crazy stuff has already been buried there. At the same time, […]
23
Nov
Nov
We have no idea where Dr. Sophia went but we still need to find Shadow before heading back down to the Biolab. Impossible questions are raging through my head as we check the rooms on the way back to the elevator. What a mind-bogglingly insane predicament I’ve found myself in. If this is all real […]
09
Nov
Nov
Oh no. I can’t move. The shadowy shapes are standing over Cole as he sleeps. They have some sort of glowing rod that they are pressing on his spine. His body starts to shake like he is being electrocuted. Have to wake up. HAVE TO WAKE UP! One of the shadow shapes turns to look […]
02
Nov
Nov
Everyone Wave at Dogman. I’m starting to dread writing these things. The things that have been happening to me sound crazy, really crazy. It’s been much easier to write them into science fiction. I wasn’t sure I was going to write this at all but portals started turning up everywhere. My birthday brought with it […]